So she won’t keep setting herself on fire only to make sure that you’re warm enough.
She won’t keep running after you only to realize that she’s running after something that isn’t even hers anymore.
She won’t keep changing her entire personality just to fit your ideal of the perfect girl.
And one day,
you might just understand why she decided to stop,
why she decided to change, and why she decided to finally leave.
But until that day, this chapter of her life has come to a halt.
This isn’t anything new. It’s just the aftermath of another petty fight, an argument that could have easily been avoided, a disagreement that should have just been ignored.
You knew the things that would hurt her most. You knew all about her weaknesses, her vulnerabilities, her flaws. And you didn’t stop yourself once from using all of them against her. You used cruel words to convey your anger. You said things that should never have been uttered, things you can’t ever take back and things that you probably won’t even remember an hour from now. And you end up reconciling once again. But even less fully than the last time this happened.
How could you act so indifferent? How could you let her fall asleep without making sure she didn’t feel so hurt and broken after the fight? How could you let all her tears fall in the darkness of the night? How could you ignore all the things that were so obviously wrong with this relationship? And after all that’s been said and done, you still managed to convince yourself that the change in her was something that happened overnight, something that couldn’t have been stopped, and something that probably had nothing to do with the way you treated her.
Do you remember the very beginning when you would do everything in your power just to see that beautiful smile on her face once, when you would worry like crazy at the slightest change in her mood, when the thought of her crying would actually make your heart hurt? And here you are today- two strangers who were once madly, truly and deeply in love with each other.
Do you find yourself wondering why this love that burned so brightly in the past has started to flicker and fade away? Because you stopped choosing her! As soon as your life started to take an upward turn, as soon as you witnessed the bright lights of success and achievements, you started to forget all about that one girl who was always by your side in the darkest time of your life. The girl who tried her best to be your ally in the battle of life. The girl who always cheered you on from the sidelines as you reached out to achieve something new. The girl who always believed you would become the amazing man you are today.
She dulled herself out just to turn into a version of herself that you would find most suitable. She allowed herself to be less than her potential just so you could feel that you’re enough. She placed herself as the last priority just to ensure that all your wants and needs were being fulfilled. But in the process of becoming the person you wanted her to be, she lost her true self. And that’s what kills her now.
She was always so intent on keeping you happy that she forgot to stop and think about her own needs in life. Maybe she thought you would remember to take care of them without her having to ask. But that was never true, was it? She kept giving and you kept taking. It never occurred to you even once that she too needed to be looked after by someone.
Maybe one day, you will wake up and finally realize that losing her wasn’t something that happened in a single instant. That it began when you started prioritizing every single thing in your life above her, when you stopped remembering and appreciating all the ways in which she supported you, and when you forgot that she too had some needs and wants,
This change in her came when you started denying her an actual place in your heart. The same heart that she fell in love with years ago, the same heart whose kindness and beauty used to leave her in complete awe, and the same heart that actually made her believe in true love again. But that heart isn’t the same anymore. It isn’t as kind. It isn’t as big. And it isn’t the heart that she fell in love with. It’s merely a hollow and vacant hole, devoid of any emotions and feelings. - relrules.com