How do you do ? I'm just fine, alhamdulillah hee. Yea, I will be facing too many obstacles now, I will be having final quizzes for Chemistry and Physics yet Speaking Test this week. Final quiz for math is gonna be the next row and get myself ready for Test 2 pfftt I do really need some oxygen now -.- please, I'm gasping for air right now.
It's such a rare for me to update my blog recently, what was I meant is, I used to update my blog like everyday, that was my old days. Yes, old days. How I missed my old days, seriously.
Do you know the reason why I'm out of sudden post up this entry ? There are reasons.
It is because I'm going through hard part of semester, I'm in a low condition. I really need someone to boost up my spirit. But who will willing to take up some of their time ? Who will ? I know, Allah is always with me, He hears, He sees, He knows each of everything I did. I know. But, somehow, I feel empty inside my heart. I don't know why. I feel like I'm stuck in huge forest without direction. Yes, just so you know, I'm down.
For like real ?! You never been so down like this ! Hey ! Get up !
Face up the challenge ! Don't give so easily, girl !
But, you just don't know how suffering I was inside. You just don't know. Maybe I'm treating you nicely, happily, excitedly, but you just don't know, this, inside. You just don't. You don't know how much tears has been wasting all of this time. You just don't. You always expect me to be fine, but indeed, I'm not, really.
When I was trying to be good with you, nice with you, getting things better as usual, but you just pretend like nothing happened. I'm tired of this, maybe not. Please, save your tears. Keep it. I don't know, what kind of way to make you satisfied. I'm not perfect neither everyone too. I had enough. Appreciated ? I don't feel like one. I feel like, I was.... You just want me to treat you nicely, but you ? Don't you ever feel the same like I did ? When I said apologize, I really meant it. But you just ignored. How ego.
I hurt inside. Just like a bleeding heart.
You maybe didn't want to feel this, one day, if that one day comes,
'Thank you, you'll regret losing me.'
Dear self, just forget this. Focus on your studies. Smile. Please keep your smile on your lips. Later, you will be fine by yourself :)